


Stillness of Heart

by LilyK



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 07:38:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,121
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/795540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Naomi Sandburg is back in Cascade with one of her countless friends in tow, but this time things are different.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stillness of Heart

A big thanks to Double R for her fine beta work. 

* * *

Blair Sandburg groaned with pleasure when he lowered his body onto Jim Ellison's throbbing erection, taking the hard member fully into his ass in one slick sizzling motion. 

"Oh, shit, Jim," he murmured, wiggling his hips and pushing down hard, making his lover gasp, "I really needed this." 

"Keep that up, Blair, and I'll be coming in about two seconds," Jim grumbled at his lover, softening his growl with a warm smile as he ran his hands through Blair's messy hair. 

"You mean this?" Blair asked innocently, and pushed down again, flexing his ass muscles around Jim's dick. 

"God, Chief!" Jim groaned deeply. His hands danced up Blair's body and he rolled the waiting nipples between his fingers. 

"Feels so good! More, Jim." Blair pushed his chest forward into Jim's hands and raised himself up along his shaft. While Jim's fingers rubbed the nubs relentlessly, Blair angled his body so that he brushed his prostate on the downward push. He bit his lip at the combination of sensations. "Talk about coming in two seconds," Blair said breathlessly, and he soon was sliding his body repeatedly on the thick shaft in his channel. 

While Blair pumped hard, Jim's hands roamed his body, tweaking the reddened nipples and rubbing down the firm chest, then his hand wrapped around Blair's leaking dick. Blair trembled and whimpered when Jim's hands stroked his dick and caressed his balls. When the demanding hands teased the sensitive spot between Blair's asshole and balls, he screamed his lover's name and came, shooting sticky spurts of come over Jim's hand and stomach. 

Jim watched Blair's face intently, drinking the sight of his lover's face. Blair's eyes were closed and sweat ran down his skin. His mouth was parted and his tongue licked the lips that Jim had kissed passionately earlier, and that were now red and swollen. His hair was sticking to his face in damp tendrils and Jim watched, always enthralled by the sight of his dick disappearing into Blair's body. Even the thought made Jim moan and he soon felt his orgasm tingling through his groin, ready to burst forth into Blair's waiting ass. Jim ran his hands through the sticky semen on his belly and he spread it over his chest. The scent of his Guide completely enveloped him and he yelled, "Blllaairr" and came in hard, fiery pulses. 

Blair thrust hard until Jim's dick softened and when he stopped, he squeezed his ass muscles around the limp member, making Jim groan at the sensation. 

Jim's hands clamped onto Blair's upper arms and he hauled his lover down quickly, kissing him passionately and noisily. He wrapped his arms around Blair's shoulders and rolled them over. Jim leaned over his lover, smiling at Blair's satisfied grin. 

"I love you, Chief. I'm on top next time." 

Blair laughed with delight. "Okay. Give me five minutes." 

Jim laughed loudly and they snuggled together, content in each other's arms. The lovers talked quietly and kissed languidly, enjoying each other's company, warm and close. Jim's hand petted Blair's tangled curls and when he snagged a finger on a knot, he whispered into Blair's ear, "Get the brush." 

Blair chuckled quietly and rolled, reaching onto the nightstand for his hairbrush. He sat cross-legged with his back to Jim and when Jim knelt behind him, he handed the brush over his shoulder. Blair sighed with pleasure, enjoying the feel of Jim's hands on his head, massaging the scalp and brushing the long strands slowly and carefully. 

"Hmmm. God, Jim, that feels good," Blair murmured contentedly. 

Jim kissed the top of his head. "Happy to do it." Jim laughed softly. "In fact, I'm very happy to do it." He spread his fingers and raked the silky locks between them, tickling the sensitive skin between his fingers. "In fact, I'm extra happy to do it." 

Blair laughed even louder when Jim's awakening dick poked him in the back. "Jim Ellison! I could just shave my head and leave the hair in bed with you and you'd never even notice that I wasn't attached to it!" 

Jim wrapped a strong arm around Blair's shoulders and pulled him back against his chest. Blair looked up at Jim as he leaned down and kissed the end of his nose. "Not hardly, Chief. I'd miss that mouth." A gentle kiss was placed on the corner of Blair's lips. "I'd miss those hands." Blair's hand was raised to Jim's mouth and he kissed the tip of each finger. "I'd miss those baby blues." Jim kissed each eyelid, chuckling quietly. "I'd miss that fine ass of yours." Jim rested his chin on Blair's shoulder and slid a hand under each asscheek, squeezing gently while he licked the enticing ear that was just sitting there with nothing to do. 

Blair giggled and wiggled his ass on Jim's hands. He slid a hand up to caress Jim's face and said, "Have I told you today how much I love you?" 

Jim licked Blair's ear and then blew gently, raising goosebumps down Blair's arm. "Yes, but tell me again." 

Blair laughed deep and low. "You are an insatiable bastard, aren't you?" 

"Only with you, my love, only with you. You have me wrapped around your little finger, do you know that?" 

"Ah, geez, Jim, that's sweet. In that case, do I still have to cook next week?" 

Jim moved quickly, grabbing his mate and pressing his back to the mattress. "Don't push it," he growled menacingly. Then he kissed Blair amorously until he was squirming and whimpering. Jim thrust his tongue into Blair's mouth and explored the wet recesses of that wonderful area. When Jim's tongue flicked along the roof, he moaned and pressed their mouths together fiercely, begging for more. Jim obliged, deepening the kiss until Blair thought he would pass out from lack of oxygen and pure pleasure. 

Jim finally pulled back from his panting lover and cupped Blair's warm balls in his strong hand. "My turn," he stated. 

Blair practically purred under Jim's hands, begging for his touch. "Anything," he murmured while his lover's hands rubbed all his sensitive places. "What do you want?" Blair whispered into Jim's ear. "I want to hear you tell me." 

"Suck me, please, Blair, please." 

"I'll think about it." Blair teased. 

Jim pouted sweetly. Blair took one look at Jim with his lower lip sticking out and laughed hard. "Beg me, Jim." 

Jim grinned. "Okay," he answered excitedly, then he became suddenly serious. "Please, Blair, give me a blowjob." 

Blair wiggled out from under Jim's hot body and got to his knees, towering over his lover. "That's not very good. You can do better than that," he ordered seductively. "Beg nicer." 

Jim shivered at Blair's sultry tone. "Pretty please, Blair, I'll do anything if you'll just suck me off, just once. Plllleeaasseee," he whined, laughing at the sound of his own voice. 

Blair laughed deeply, always pleased when he managed to have his sometimes unflappable Sentinel acting like a ten-year old. He reached out and grasped Jim's dick in his hand. At Blair's touch, the shaft swelled even more, filling to its limits. "Ask me again," Blair demanded while he ran his thumb across the head teasing the slit and rubbing Jim's extra-sensitive place right under the ridge. 

Jim's pulse elevated under Blair's fingers. "Feels good, Blair. More, please." 

"You like this?" Blair's fingernails scraped lightly across Jim's nipple and he arched his back into the touch. 

"Yes," he hissed when the nails found the other nipple and delicately scraped the sensitive skin. Jim's dick throbbed and dripped freely. 

Blair straddled Jim's body, plopping his butt on Jim's chest with his back to him. He leaned down and ran his hair over Jim's lower body. Jim could feel the individual strands touching his skin and he laughed at the ticklish sensations. 

Blair chuckled. "Like that, too, huh?" 

Jim nodded happily. "It tickles." 

Jim rested his hands on Blair's waist and when Blair leaned over, Jim's mouth went dry at the sight of Blair's ass spread out in front of him. He thought about touching that inviting place but just when he started to move a hand towards his prize, the overwhelming sensation of Blair's mouth enveloping the head of his dick made his hand freeze before it reached its goal. 

"Blair! Oh, God, that's so good." 

Blair's tongue laved the head thoroughly before moving to lick the entire surface of the thick erection from top to bottom and back up again. Soon Blair's mouth had Jim moaning constantly. Blair worked slowly and steadily on Jim's dick, sucking and licking relentlessly until Jim's hips were thrusting into the inferno of Blair's throat. With a finger wet from his own dripping shaft, he pressed the digit into Jim's ass. Jim spread his legs wantonly, thrusting up into Blair's mouth and pushing down onto the finger. Blair soon added another finger and then another, stroking hard and fast. He sucked Jim's dick mercilessly until Jim was screaming his name and digging his fingers into Blair's sides when his orgasm crashed through him, shooting come down Blair's eagerly waiting throat. Only when the last drop had been sucked from Jim's body, did Blair release his prize. 

Blair sat up on Jim's chest and turned to look at his lover. Jim sprawled bonelessly on the bed. His face was flushed and sweaty. His chest was wet from sweat and semen from Blair's orgasm. His breath was coming in harsh gasps and he just moaned when Blair said, "How was that?" 

Blair grinned and turned to lie against his lover, relishing the sight of Jim in total meltdown. Blair kissed his temple, still grinning. He propped his head up on his hand and just watched his lover, enjoying the sight before him. With a hand on Jim's chest, Blair whispered into his ear, "God, you are so fucking beautiful! I want to fuck you into next week right now." 

Jim opened one languid eye. "I think you already did." 

Blair chuckled deeply. "You are a mess. I think you have enough come on you to last a lifetime." 

Jim chuckled in response and trailed a single finger through his messy belly. "Why do I get the feeling that you get some perverse pleasure from coming on me, Chief?" 

Blair grinned. "Just trying to please." 

"Shit, Blair, you more than succeeded." Jim smiled at his lover and ran a hand down his face. "You always do," he added softly. 

Blair smiled shyly. "Thanks. Love you too, Jim. Come on, let's take a quick shower and have something to eat. All this exercise made me hungry." 

The men laughed and touched and talked and showered and ate and laughed some more. Blair was washing dishes and Jim was drying and putting away when Jim stopped suddenly. 

"Chief, your mother's here." 

Blair's hand froze in mid-wash of a glass and he said, "My mother is where?" 

"She's here. Downstairs. I can hear her talking. And I can smell her." 

Blair looked at him and groaned. "Smell her? Does she smell bad?" 

"No. Just like Naomi." Jim stopped and listened. "And there is someone with her. Someone I don't know." 

Blair was suddenly anxious. Jim and Naomi hadn't spoken for more than six months and that was only once on the telephone for a short "hello, how are you" conversation. Naomi hadn't visited since the dissertation disaster, almost a year before, although she called Blair regularly and wrote on occasion. She had even been out of the country when Blair graduated from the police academy. 

Blair was not pleased that she had not bothered to at least call first and let them know that she was in town. And Blair hadn't told Naomi about him and Jim. About how they had become lovers shortly after Blair had graduated. 

Things had definitely changed for Blair. He loved his mother dearly but he did not want to be put in a position to have to chose between his lover and his mother. Naomi would not like what Blair's choice would be, and Blair would rather avoid the confrontation totally if possible. Tonight, he was certainly not in the mood for a family quarrel. He knew his mother loved him, but sometimes she had her own idea of what was what and it was impossible to talk to her. 

Blair knew that Jim was very territorial when he was at home, especially since they had become lovers. He liked his home to be a safe-haven from the outside stresses on his senses, and Blair liked that their home was a private place where they could enjoy each other's company. Invited guests were one thing, but uninvited ones were another. Jim had been very tolerant of Naomi's previous visits but after the debacle with the dissertation, Blair was wary of having her in their home. 

Blair shook his head. "Darn it, anyway, she should have called and I don't like that she's bringing a stranger without letting me know. Do you want me to get rid of her?" Blair asked solicitously. 

"Don't you think the neighbors will hear the shot?" Jim glanced at Blair to see if he was listening. It took a second for that comment to hit home. 

Blair smirked. "Ha. Ha. Very funny. Come on, man. I'm serious. If you don't want the stranger in the loft, I'll tell my mother, and meet her somewhere else later." 

"No, don't do that. It's okay. This is your home and she's your mother. Besides, I feel this other person is..." Jim opened the door and stood, watching and listening. 

Naomi and another woman stepped from the elevator and came down the hall to the loft as Jim's voice trailed off. Naomi wasn't surprised to see that Jim knew they were coming. She glanced over at her companion and noticed that the woman was intently looking straight ahead at Jim Ellison, who stood slightly into the hall watching their approach. He actually greeted Naomi cordially and stepped aside to let the women enter. Naomi shot a sidelong glance at him as she passed to enter the loft. 

"Hello, Jim. You're looking well." 

"Thanks, Naomi. So are you. Well and suntanned. Where have you been, at the beach?" 

"Yes, and also to the jungle. We've been in Central America at the Mayan ruins. It's been a wonderful trip." 

She looked at Jim, but he was no longer paying attention to her. He was purposefully watching her companion as she stood in the hall waiting for Naomi to enter the apartment. When the unknown woman met Jim's eyes, he gave her one of those to-die-for Ellison smiles that didn't come very often for friends, and even less for strangers. 

Blair was giving his mother a hug, and putting up with her usual inspection of his person when he glanced over at Jim. Blair was already on the alert because of the uninvited guests, but when he saw the smile on Jim's face, he relaxed a bit. 

The woman stepped across the threshold and Jim stood directly behind her, smiling down at the top of her head. Blair found himself smiling at her also. Both guys suddenly seemed to remember their manners and introductions were made. 

"Emma, this is my son, Blair. Blair, this is my good friend, Emma Clark. And this is Blair's partner and friend, Detective Jim Ellison." Naomi chattered on. "We met on the bus to Palenque. We have been traveling together the last few days, and she invited me to Cascade for a day or two. She's moving to Paris this week. Can you believe that she lives in Cascade and we met in Central America? I've accepted her gracious invitation and will be staying at her home." 

Jim stepped around the small, black-haired woman and shook her hand. "Nice to meet you." He smiled again. 

Blair stepped up to Emma and added his greetings. 

"Come in and sit down. Tell us, what have you ladies been up to on your travels?" Jim asked as he motioned the women to the living room. 

Blair glanced at Jim, a little surprised at his quick acceptance of his mother and her new friend into the loft. The funny thing was Blair felt like inviting them in, also. That's strange, he thought quickly. He gave his head a quick small, and asked the women if they would like something to drink. 

"I would love some tea," Emma said. 

"Any kind in particular?" Blair inquired, still smiling, taken immediately by Emma's unusual green eyes and kind smile. 

"No, anything you make will be fine," she answered. 

"Mom, would you like some?" 

"Yes, darling, that would be good." 

Blair looked over at Jim, who was sitting on the sofa next to Emma. He was not talking, but Blair could tell he was sitting comfortably, not at all on edge when meeting a new person in his lair. Blair was definitely puzzled, but he could understand his partner's attitude. He too, for some reason, felt at ease with Emma in the room. It was strange, he had to admit to himself while he busied around the kitchen getting the drinks. He and Jim would definitely have to talk about this after the visitors left. 

After a half-hour of chitchat and catching up, Naomi and Emma both agreed it was time to go home and crawl into their warm beds after their long trip. Goodbyes were exchanged, and the women went on their way in Emma's old black Mercedes. 

* * *

"What the heck was that?" Blair inquired. 

Jim gave Blair an innocent look and echoed, "What the heck was what?" 

"Since when to you let total strangers into the loft, and then sit next to them smiling like a fool? You've been acting strangely since the minute you knew they were in the building. And what was that statement you made when you were practically zoned out after they left. I wondered aloud about why she is here and you said, 'she's here for you'" What is that supposed to mean? You're freaking me out tonight, man." Blair stood with his hands on his hips, his blue eyes locked on Jim's. 

"I don't know, Chief," Jim replied, "but I felt it was totally safe to let her in. I can't explain it, Chief. She smelled... good, kind of like you." He shrugged at the funny look Blair shot at him. "I liked her shampoo. I also noticed she didn't have on anything what was bothersome to me. Almost like she knew I was sensitive to smells. She reminded me a lot of you. How you smell, how it feels to be around you. It was strange, but comforting for some reason. I had to actually stop myself from telling her I'm a Sentinel, for God's sake. And I don't remember saying anything of the sort; about her being here for you. You must be hearing things or hallucinating." Jim chuckled. "Did you put something funny in that incense you've been using?" 

Blair was staring at him with his mouth open, wondering what in heaven's name had just happened. 

Jim smiled at his lover. "Now don't go and get jealous on me. Come on, let's go back to bed. Your mother and her friend are the last thing I want to talk about now." 

Blair sighed. "I have to agree with you on the fact that I was also comfortable with her being here; but what is going on? Do you remember meeting Emma before?" When Blair was in protective Guide mode, there was no stopping him and he was in no mood to let this incident pass by if the safety of the Sentinel was involved. 

"No, definitely not. I would have remembered her. What I felt was different. It wasn't a physical thing, it was..." Jim looked puzzled, unable to quite put a finger on the word he needed. 

"Spiritual." Blair interjected. 

"Now, Chief, don't get all cosmic on me. Spiritual? I guess that's as good a word to use as any. I can't put it into words right now. And besides, it's getting late. Remember, I have to be in court tomorrow at 9 am on the Montrose case." 

Blair answered, "Oh, that's right. Do you want me to go with you to the courthouse?" 

"No, I don't think it will take long. It's probably going to be a pretty dull case. I should be only an hour or so. What do you say we meet at the station about 11? " 

"Okay, good idea. My mother gave me Emma's address. I think I'll go around to her house in the morning before I go to the precinct, and ask her a few questions. She's really got me curious now." Blair sat in the same spot without moving for a good while, deep in thought. 

Jim noticed Blair's still puzzled look, and decided it wasn't a bad idea after all if he went to speak with her. He was perplexed himself, but he trusted his instincts about people, and he felt Emma was not a threat. Her heart rate and respiration had been relaxed as she sat next to him. She seemed to be just was she appeared; a woman at ease with herself and the world around her. I wish I had some of that tranquility sometimes, Jim thought. 

"You know, Blair, I don't feel like Emma's a danger to anyone, but just be careful. And let me know if you find out anything interesting. You might want to give her a quick background check tomorrow just in case. I wouldn't want her to take advantage of your mother," Jim added with a crooked smile. 

"Thanks, Jim. My mother is famous for getting herself into trouble at the drop of a hat," Blair said. 

"It must run in the family." Jim laughed as he ruffled his mate's hair before he pulled him into his arms and kissed him soundly. 

* * *

The door to Emma's home swung open and she greeted Blair warmly. "Good morning, Blair. It's good to see you again. I'm so happy you called." 

Blair found himself smiling at the friendly woman and once again, he felt completely at ease with her. This is strange, he thought quickly and then he groaned to himself. No, not again! Same as last night! 

Blair quickly composed himself and greeted her. "Hello. Thanks for seeing me." 

"Please come in." Emma smiled and led Blair into the living room, and he sat on the edge of the beige, corduroy sofa. "Your mother isn't here. I treated her to a day of pampering at the Harmony Day Spa." Emma explained. "I don't expect her back until this afternoon. That way we can talk. I just brewed a fresh pot of tea. Would you like some?" 

"Yes, thanks. It sounds good." Blair looked up at her, smiling warmly. 

Emma went out into the kitchen to fix the tea as Blair looked around the cozy house. He liked it at once even without most of the furniture, which Blair figured had been sent on to the new home in Paris. It had a good feeling about it. He was feeling 'good' about this woman again. What was going on? 

"Do you need a hand?" Blair called out. 

Emma answered, "No, I'm almost finished. Be there in a sec." 

While she was busy with the drinks, Blair leafed through her CD collection on the floor beside the sofa. She certainly had a varied collection of music, both hard and soft rock, folk music, and she has a lot of the same meditation CDs he did. We both have good taste, he thought, smiling to himself, even if his lover didn't always like some of his choices. 

Emma brought in two steaming mugs. "I hope you like Constant Comment. It's one of my favorites." 

"Thanks. This is great." 

Emma sat on the chair opposite from Blair and smiled at him warmly. Blair returned her smile, once again feeling comfortable with her. He tried to examine the feelings but he just couldn't quite put his finger on the reason, except that he 'felt' at ease sitting with her. 

Blair cleared his throat and said, "Do you mind if I ask you a couple of questions?" 

"No, I don't mind at all. What do you want to know?" Emma asked encouragingly. 

Blair was still puzzled about his and Jim's responses to her, so he blurted out the first thing that came to mind. "How about starting with who you are, and why you're here?" He was surprised at his own abruptness and he said hastily, "I'm sorry. That didn't come out right. I didn't mean to be rude. It's just that I feel..." Blair stopped, not quite sure what to say next. He usually wasn't at a loss for words but right now, he was having a bit of trouble verbalizing exactly what he was feeling. 

Emma smiled. "Blair, it's all right. I can answer the second part of your question very easily, so let's start there. Why am I here? I'm here for you, Blair." 

Blair started and almost dropped the cup, spilling some of the hot liquid on his leg. As he dabbed at the wet circles on his pants, he explained, "That's what Jim said last night. But when I asked him about it; he said he hadn't said it. I don't think he was even aware that he had said it. Did you put some sort of a trance, or spell, or something on him?" 

Emma laughed, hard. "I'm so sorry, Blair. I don't mean to laugh at you. Really, I'm here for you. But, not after you -- for you, silly, to help you." 

She reached across the space between the sofa and the chair, and patted him on the knee. "To help you. I'm on your side. And if you want to hear the whole story, I'll tell you, but not in pieces. All at once, so I can get through it. What do you say? You have to give me your undivided attention for a good hour or so." 

She became very serious at the last part of her statement and she moved onto the sofa to sit beside Blair, tucking her feet up under her small frame. Blair slid himself around to face her and stated just as seriously, "I don't understand how I know, but I know this it is important; I just know it is. You have my undivided attention for two hours before I have to be at the station. Is that okay?" 

"Yes, that's just fine. And I know you will want to interrupt and ask questions. I can feel them already, but try to let me get this out. I may be able to hold it together only so long." 

This remark surprised Blair because she seemed so self-assured, very in control of herself. He nodded. "I'll try to be as quiet as possible, at least as quiet as possible for me, which isn't very quiet. At least that's what Jim is always saying." Blair bit his lip to stop his rambling; he was so nervous. But in spite of the nervousness, he settled into the corner of the sofa and waited for Emma to start. 

Emma cleared her throat, and her first statement just about knocked Blair from the sofa. 

"I'm a Guide, and my Sentinel is dead." 

She looked right at him while she said it. Blair held his breath. It was incomprehensible. She was a Guide and what? She said dead, didn't she?! And she said 'her' Sentinel. He always thought that after their little run in with Alex, there was the possibility of other Sentinels, and he and Jim had discussed the fact that others might very well exist. But Blair had hoped one never appeared again in the State of Washington, that's for sure. Maybe not even west of the Mississippi, just to be on the safe side. 

Emma's quiet green eyes looked into Blair's shocked blue ones. She nodded. "You heard what I said correctly. So now I'm going to tell you exactly what happened to me, and why I'm here in Cascade. First of all, meeting your mother was not an accident or coincidence. It was cosmic fate, or whatever you feel comfortable believing. Also, my living in Cascade for the past four years was not a coincidence either. I've known about Jim's being a Sentinel and you being his Guide. And now I'm leaving in two days and because we might not met again, there are some things I want to tell you, to help you understand." 

Emma stopped to give Blair a chance to let the last few moments sink in. For once, he didn't say a word; he didn't know what to say. So he just nodded at Emma to continue. 

She took another deep breath and exhaled. "You're wondering why I took this long to come forward. I had to wait for a sign, a vision, something, so that I would know it was the right time. Well, on the trip to the Mayan ruins I had that vision. I feel closer to my spirit in holy places, and I know this is the right time to approach you. 

"It all started when I was a freshman in college, and met my first real, grown up, best friend. Her name was Olivia. We were immediately drawn to each other. Neither of us knew why until later, but we felt comfortable with each other right away, and we were inseparable from that point on. I was in Liberal Arts, but Olivia was in Criminology. She wanted to be someone who made a difference. About the middle of our junior year, Olivia confided in me that since she was thirteen, she had been having these really terrible headaches. Everything hurt, she would say. Her eyes, her ears, even her teeth, if you can believe that." 

Blair knew he would believe every word he heard, so he patiently waited for Emma to continue. 

Emma sighed. "I had known something was wrong; that she was 'sick' a lot, but I didn't know what was going on and neither did her parents. They took her to every doctor within a 1000-mile radius, but they all said it was psychosomatic. She was a hypochondriac. Stuff like that. I started doing my own research at the library every chance I had. There wasn't an Internet back in those days, so I spent many hours at the college and county libraries searching out any disease or disorder which seemed to fit Olivia's symptoms." Emma stopped and took a sip of her now cold tea before she continued. 

"While I didn't find much to diagnose the symptoms or attribute them to any one disease, I came across some holistic measures which I started to use on Olivia, with her cooperation, of course. Twenty-five years ago, the term 'all natural' was not quite the catch phrase it is today. People who did not appreciate 'modern medicine' were thought of as religious zealots, or kooks. But anyway, a lot of the techniques we tried helped: meditation, yoga, diet; and we stuck with the things that worked the best. I always teased her that she should have come with a set of instructions. It would have been a lot easier. 

"Once we started getting some control in Olivia's life we started to discover she had 'gifts', special powers, if you will. She would hear me coming from blocks away, or see a lost earring across the room under a dark bureau; she could tell what color her blouse was just by touching it. Things like that. We started doing 'experiments' on her senses to see what Olivia was capable of doing. It was a really strange and scary time for two girls who just wanted to be college co-eds, get jobs and have exciting careers and lives. And we were both terrified her parents would find out and have her committed. 

"We actually managed to graduate. Olivia decided to become a private investigator and she specialized in finding kidnapped children. I know you're wondering how she 'became' a Sentinel. It was because as a child, she was a kidnap victim. The FBI finally rescued Olivia three months after she was taken. She spent those three months pretty much locked in a closet with some psycho as her only link to the world. But of course, no one knew about her abilities, or could understand what was happening to her. It was all attributed to trauma. It is a miracle that Olivia survived, managed to graduate from high school, and make it to college without going crazy. 

"Well, anyway, Olivia followed the trail of lost children, and I followed her, helping her as much as I could. We didn't have an actual name for our relationship like you and Jim have now. In fact, we thought she was the only person in the world with her abilities. It was only after she died and I began to have disturbing visions that I realized there were others with her abilities." 

Blair finally spoke, quietly, "You don't have to say anything else. You don't have to tell me any of this. I can tell how painful it is for you." 

"Blair, it's so important for me to tell you some things. I'm here for you. You've got to hear this. Please. Once I'm gone, I might not be able to help you. I don't know when I'll be back in Cascade. In fact, I might never come back. I just don't know what's in store for me. I have to follow the visions." 

Blair said quietly, "Go ahead. I'm listening.'' By this time, he was holding her hand, and she was clutching his for all she was worth. Emma's voice was barely above a whisper by now, but Blair heard every word. He had moved close enough to be just inches away from her so he wouldn't miss anything. Wanting to hear it all. Trying to actually understand what it had to do with him and Jim. 

"Then, one night it was snowing, badly. Olivia went out. I didn't want her to go, but she had a good lead that had to be followed. I was meeting her to help follow up with the lead. I had stopped by the hospital in the town where we were living to visit a friend who had his appendix out that day, and was meeting her in just a few minutes. Then it happened. It was a senseless, stupid accident. All the roads were snow covered and quite slippery. A large truck failed to stop for a red light, slid into an intersection and hit Olivia's car. She was killed instantly. I didn't even get to say goodbye. I don't even know if she saw it coming. I got the call while I was still at the hospital. She was in the Emergency Room in the same building where I was visiting my friend. I wouldn't believe she was dead until they showed me her body. 

"Then I did what any good friend would do. I gave her a nice funeral; buried her in a beautiful grove of trees, then I went home and took two bottles of sleeping pills and lay down to die. I knew I couldn't go on living without her." 

Blair squeezed Emma's hands between his own. They both had tears on their cheeks. 

"Don't, don't cry, please, Blair. If you do, I will never finish this." Emma cleared her throat. " I guess the good part is, as you may have noticed, I didn't die as planned. To this day, I believe Olivia's spirit guide somehow found help for me. A neighbor heard terrible sounds coming from our home and he called the police. The police came and found me; they called the paramedics and then I voluntarily committed myself to a treatment facility for a month. 

"While the paramedics revived me, I swear Olivia's animal spirit appeared to me, and kicked the crap out of me for doing something so stupid. She was not happy with me, that's for sure. I had to promise never to do anything that stupid again just to get some peace and quiet. Olivia was like that, always in charge." Emma smiled sadly and sighed. "The doctors at the hospital told me the bruises and bumps that covered my body were from the trauma of being handled by the paramedics, nurses and doctors trying to save me, but I know they were from Olivia's spirit guide who was extremely unhappy with my behavior. 

"I'm sure you're anxious to see how you fit into this picture. Well, while I was in the mental hospital, I kept having these dreams. About a guy in the jungle; he was a soldier lost in the jungles of Peru, then he became a cop... he was 'lost' and he needed to be 'found'. He was another Sentinel with the black panther as his spirit guide. I thought I really was crazy. After I left the hospital, I continued to have that same damned dream every night for months. I was very depressed and I certainly didn't want anything to do with another Sentinel. I tried to ignore the dreams. When having them every night wasn't bad enough, I started having the dream as a vision every day while I was awake for another month. I knew if I didn't find the 'soldier/cop', I wouldn't think I was crazy; I would be crazy. 

"Well, I used the knowledge I had acquired after being partnered with a private investigator for almost twenty years and found your Sentinel, Jim Ellison. Actually, he was fairly easy to find considering the kidnapped children Olivia and I had tracked down. Now with the Internet and a bit of work, I can find just about anybody. He had even had his picture on the front cover of that magazine. I traveled to Cascade and it didn't take me long to find him. When I finally got here, I'm almost embarrassed to say that I was more than pleased that he had found his Guide already, and that you and him were together. 

"The very idea of another Sentinel upset me, Blair. Not that Jim is one, but that I felt the imperative to connect to another one. I just couldn't do it after Olivia. Then I meditated for a long while and I realized that if I had connected to Jim, it wouldn't have been a permanent, physical bond. Not like what I had with Olivia. It would have been to help him to understand and to cope and not go crazy until you finally found him." 

Emma stopped to let some of this sink in. It was way too much for most people to understand, let alone believe. Blair and Emma sat in silence for many long minutes before he finally broke his contemplation. 

"And now?" Blair finally managed to string two words together. 

"And now I'm here to help you, Blair. I know what it's like when things are out of your control and you feel like there's nothing you do can to change them. It took my Sentinel's death and many long months of physical pain and mental anguish for me to realize the importance of our connection. I want to spare you that pain and anguish. I'm here for you," Emma said with such intensity that Blair was almost frightened. Hell with almost, he was frightened. 

The jangling of Blair's cell phone made them jump, startling them both. 

Blair was annoyed when he flipped the phone open. "What!" he snapped. "Oh, Captain, I'm sorry. The ringing interrupted... When? Where?" His voice became anxious. "I'll be right there." He looked over to Emma. 

"I have to go. It's Jim. There's been an accident at the courthouse. Something to do with gas or chemicals or something. Simon didn't have all the details, but Jim is at the hospital. I have to go now, before they do anything that will aggravate any injuries he might have. I have to go now. I'm so sorry. I have to go now," he blurted out, running his hand down his face. 

"Blair, it's okay. Calm down. Take a deep breath. I'll drive you. You're way too upset to drive yourself. You know you can't help Jim if you don't keep your wits about you. Come on, Blair. Everything will be okay." She snatched her car keys from the kitchen counter. 

Blair nodded and headed for the door. They were out of the house and down the driveway in a matter of seconds. 

* * *

Emma drove the black Mercedes calmly but quickly. The ten-minute drive seemed like an hour to Blair. He kept very still and quiet. He could not ask her the one question he knew he should ask. He tried to convince himself that if he didn't think it, it couldn't be true; that it wouldn't happen. Blair tried to block out the thought that kept kicking him in the head. That Emma was here to help him handle Jim's death. Blair knew that there was no one in the entire world that could help him accept Jim's death, regardless of that fact that Emma had lived through the death of her Sentinel. He couldn't understand how she could be at peace with her Sentinel's passing and with the life she now led. He wondered what she knew that could, in any way, bring the measure of contentment she now felt after all she had been through. 

Emma looked over at Blair quickly while still driving carefully. It wouldn't help matters if they didn't make it to the hospital in one piece. He was staring straight ahead, digging his nails into the palm of his hands. She wished she could take away some of the pain and anger she could see on his face, most of which she was sure was directed at her. Emma wished they had gotten to finish their conversation; her story. It was important. She now felt that Blair thought she was here for something terrible. She wanted to say something to try and comfort him. 

"Blair, please listen to me. It will be okay." 

He kept his eyes forward and said more harshly than he mean to, "How can you say that? Was it okay for you? Is it okay now?" 

"No, it wasn't then and it isn't now. It will never be okay for me. I can cope, but it will never be okay." 

Blair finally looked at her sadly. She met his eyes quickly before turning back to the highway. Blair said, "Can you promise me that Jim is all right?" 

"You know I can't do that." Emma sighed. "Please, Blair, it's not what you think. I'm not here to hurt you." 

"I know," Blair whispered. 

Before Emma could say more, they pulled up at the Emergency Entrance on the south side of the hospital and Blair was out of the car before Emma had fully stopped. He sprinted to the door and into the corridor. 

"Man, I hate the smell of hospitals. I know Jim hates it worse than I do," Blair muttered to himself. 

He approached the ER counter, and asked the aide working there the location of his partner. The aide consulted the large white board tacked up to the wall behind the desk. "Ellison. He is in Exam Room 6. Go down the corridor directly behind you, make a right, third door on the right." 

The first person Blair laid eyes on was Captain Banks. Banks quickly came up to Blair and took his arm, leading him a few feet away from the staff person standing in the hallway. 

"Simon, where's Jim?" Blair blurted out and tried to skirt around his captain. 

Simon grabbed Blair's arm and said quickly and quietly, "We have to talk first. Listen to me. Jim is not hurt. He doesn't have a scratch on him. Not a single one. He is perfectly fine, physically." 

That last comment brought Blair up short. "What do you mean physically? Is there something wrong mentally?" 

"The doctors can't find anything wrong with him. They just can't wake him up. They claim they are going to start running tests in case of neurological damage. Even the sound of it scares me. You know Jim won't be able to take their 'tests'. He's not hurt. If he had been shot or needed stitches or a cast, then the doctors would be able to help him. I don't know what they are planning." Simon shook his head dejectedly. 

"Simon, what did this? What happened?" Blair asked. 

"From what I heard, some workmen spilled a cleaning solvent in the basement of the building near some ventilation ducts. I don't know what it was, but only Jim seemed to be affected by the fumes." Simon lowered his voice even further. "If this is Sentinel related, I'm afraid of what it will do to his senses if they start poking around. I figure you can probably wake him up, but I can't exactly tell the doctors that." 

Up to this point, Blair had not been thinking straight. He took a step back from Simon, straightened his shoulders and cleared his throat. "I'll handle this," Blair said matter-of-factly. "Just leave it to me. That's what I'm here for. It's my job to take care of Jim." 

He crossed the hall and pushed open the door to the exam room a little more forcefully than he intended and managed to bang it into the back of the attending physician. The man was not happy with the intrusion and insisted that Blair leave the exam room immediately unless he was the next of kin. He steered Blair back out into the hallway. 

Both men were about the same height and Blair brought his face to within an inch or two of the doctor's face. He said in a low, quiet voice, "I'm the next of kin, and I have legal authority to be here." With that statement, Blair proceeded to hand the doctor a rather tattered piece of paper. He had carried the document around for six months, and he had hoped that he never had to use it. "It's perfectly legal," Blair stated firmly. 

The doctor skimmed the Power of Attorney document quickly. "Well, Mr. Sandburg, this seems to be in order. This gives you full legal rights to make medical decisions for Mr. Ellison. Let me tell you what we plan on doing..." 

Blair held up both hands. "Wait just a minute, please. Is he stable right now?" 

"Yes," the doctor said. 

"Good, that's good. Now please listen to me. I need just a few minutes alone with Detective Ellison, and then we will discuss what you think would be the best course of action." He realized that he doctor thought that he was doing the right thing for Jim, but there was nothing Blair could say that would explain what needed to be done, and only he, Blair, could do it. 

Blair's head was starting to ache and he was desperately trying to think of a way to get everyone out of the room so he could be alone with Jim without the doctors or nurses questioning what he was up to. Then he had it. The physician looked like the kind of guy who expected to be in charge, so Blair decided he would use of bit of the Sandburg obfuscation, letting the man think he was doing Jim a big favor by letting Blair in to see him. 

Blair was very serious when he said, "I need to be alone with Detective Ellison for religious reasons. His religion has a dim view of hospitals and they sometimes have a problem being in one. I, however, believe that treatment is sometimes necessary. If I can have some time alone, I can say the right prayers to make sure he is okay with your treatments. It will make his recovery much quicker. It would really mean a lot to me if you would agree to let me see him alone." Blair put on his most innocent, pleading look, hoping the doctor would fall for the deception. "Do you feel that my request would aggravate his condition in any way?" 

The physician looked at Blair closely, and gave him look that conveyed his thoughts -- not another weird religious kook! "I suppose not. He's stable, so I don't think your asking for a short time alone would endanger his condition. There won't be a bed free in Neurology for at least a half an hour, but that's all the time I feel I can give you right now. I have to put the health of the patient first." 

Blair nodded. "Of course, Doctor. Thank you," he said and glanced over at Emma who had parked the car and joined Simon in the hallway, giving her the thumbs up sign when the doctor left to clear the room of other personnel. She acknowledged his success with a slight nod and a small smile. 

In the few minutes it took for the doctor and two nurses assisting him to leave, Blair just stood quietly, examining his fingernails. Simon started toward him, but he felt a hand on his arm. "No, leave him alone. Please," Emma pleaded. "He has to do this on his own. It's just between the Guide and the Sentinel." 

Simon's mouth dropped open at the last part of her remark. The Guide and the Sentinel. Who was she? And how did she know? 

"Miss, do you mind if I ask just who you are and how you know my detectives?" 

"I'm Blair and Jim's friend," Emma said. "You need to trust Blair right now. He knows what to do, and he needs you to have faith in him that he is doing the right thing. I know Jim is a Sentinel. Everything will be all right. Please, Captain." 

Simon stared at the small woman for several seconds before he nodded. "Let's see what happens." 

* * *

Blair approached the exam room door and stopped. He knew he had to go in, but he needed a second to compose himself for... He had no idea what to expect. The worst; then it could only get better from there. He placed both hands on the door to push it open. He stopped and glanced over at Emma. She was smiling at him. It will be all right. You can do this. She never said a word, but he could almost 'feel' it in his mind. He gave her a wan smile, gritted his teeth, and pushed the door open. 

The florescent lights were glaring and Blair turned on a free-standing lamp that was positioned near the head of the bed, angling the head so it didn't shine directly onto Jim's face. Then he quickly flipped off the overhead lights and locked the door. He finally steeled himself and walked over to the side of the bed to get a good look at his Sentinel. Much to Blair's surprise, Jim looked perfectly normal. Just... normal. He was expecting something, anything, but his lover looked like he was sleeping at home on the sofa. 

Blair started to breathe again, not even realizing that he had been holding his breath since he walked into the room. Well, Blair thought, I'll just wake him up. Easier said than done. After many long minutes of coaxing, pleading, talking, touching, there was nothing. He had never seen Jim so far in the zone before and Blair realized that he couldn't find his way back on his own. Jim's reaction to the chemical sent him deeply into the zone out and Blair racked his brain for a way to reach the Sentinel to guide him back to the surface. 

Blair was still murmuring, talking directly into his Sentinel's ear, quietly, earnestly, when a soft tapping at the door interrupted him. "It's Emma," he heard the voice say, and he swiftly walked over and unlocked the door, opening it enough for her to slip in before he locked it again. 

Emma placed a hand on Blair's arm. "There's been a big emergency, a bus crash, so the doctors and nurses are all busy with that right now. I think they've forgotten about you and Jim for the time being. But you had better hurry before they remember, and come back looking to move him upstairs." 

"I have never, in all this time, have seen Jim so zoned out before, Emma. I don't know what to do. I'm willing to sit here and talk to him for the next week if I have to, to try and reach him. He isn't responding to me at all." 

Emma took both of Blair's hands in hers. Her brown eyes held his blue ones. "We don't have much time, so I'm going to give you the Guide lecture." Emma's warm smile comforted the anxious man just a bit. "Listen to me. You are the Guide for a reason. You are a cop because you chose be one, but you are a Guide because it's what you were meant to do, your destiny. You have great instincts about what to do; you just have to believe that what you're doing is best. You and Jim have gone for over four years without a serious zone out and that proves that you're doing the right thing. 

"You're the Guide; he follows you instinctively and you know already how to read his body language. It doesn't matter if you are going in on a serious police bust or out for pizza, just do what you know is needed and he'll respond. Stick to what you believe is best, and you will both be okay. He is the Sentinel; follow his instincts, and believe in yours. Now, about this," she waved her hand over towards Jim, "Blair, you already have the ability to do this. Just go and get him." 

Blair didn't know what to say. He was hardly ever at a loss for words, but once again, Emma had managed to render him speechless. Emma smiled at him and gave him a hug. She whispered in his ear, "Go forward, young apprentice, and guide." He gave her a small smile. She slipped back out of the door and he locked it once again. 

Blair walked back over to the bed and stood looking at his Sentinel. Emma made it sound so easy. He repeated her words to himself, "Just go and get him. Just go and get him. Just go and..." Then he thought about he visions he and Jim had shared when he had died. He thought about the wolf and the panther. But he wasn't the Sentinel. He couldn't go and 'get' anyone, could he? Jim had called up the animal spirits before, but he had never done it. He had seen the spirits, of course, but how did a Guide call them for help? She had told him to follow his instincts and he would do the right thing. His brain kicked into overdrive. He had to try. He was an old hand at meditation. Anything would be better than just watching Jim lying there, not moving. 

He put one hand on Jim's arm and the other hand on his wrist and closed his eyes. Blair could feel Jim's pulse under his fingers and he concentrated on the slow, steady rhythm of his heartbeat. He blocked out everything else. First he could feel the beat; then he could hear it. Blair pictured himself walking through...What? Where would Jim hide? Better yet, where would a panther hide if it were scared, injured, or tired? In the jungle, somewhere dark, cool. 

In his mind, he pictured his sneakers walking across the grass. Then, he pictured his sneakers walking across the jungle floor, over the vines, grasses, and other plants. Blair looked down and saw his sneakers, 'paws'. He looked around. Blair, 'the wolf', was in a clearing, just a small clearing, in a dense jungle. Very little sunlight filtered down through the trees. He walked slowly forward testing the paws, 'sneakers'. The wolf, 'Blair', tried to call for Jim, but a low bark was what its, 'his', ears heard for its effort. 

The wolf cocked his head to listen. He smelled, then heard, a bobcat. Looking around, he saw the small, sleek golden-brown animal sitting on its haunches at the other end of the clearing. The bobcat was staring into a small cave that the wolf could vaguely see behind a tangle of vines and brush. From overhead, there was a grating screech as a large golden eagle handed on top of the brush and vines directly over the cave. They seemed to be directing the wolf in that direction. The wolf trotted over to the cave and stopped to sniff the air. He could smell the familiar scent of another animal coming directly from the cave. He knew what he searched for was in there. He crawled under the tangled vegetation and entered without looking back. The bobcat gave a loud growl; the eagle cried once, then they were gone. 

The wolf knew this was a journey he would be taking by himself. He advanced further into the cool, dark recesses, peering through the shadows. There! He could just make out the shadow of the cat. He could hear the larger animal pacing, growling low in its throat. The wolf approached slowly. He wasn't stupid. Although the wolf and cat had traveled together before, he knew he had to be careful around so formidable a creature. He was puzzled when the panther didn't respond to his presence. The wolf knew that the panther should have been able to smell him long before he even entered the clearing. The wolf advanced a few steps further and barked a small greeting. Nothing. The cat continued its pacing and never looked up. The wolf barked louder and louder. Still nothing. 

The wolf was definitely growing concerned, and a little irritated. By now the panther should have acknowledged the wolf's presence. The wolf tried another approach. He tried growling in his most threatening manner. Nothing. Back and forth. Back and forth. Finally growing weary of being ignored, the wolf sat on his haunches and considered the situation at hand. As he watched the big cat pace, he decided he might as well risk life and limb. It would be his final attempt. Success or failure was riding on this last effort. The wolf timed the cat's pacing and, when the cat's back haunches were exposed to the wolf, it took one leap forward and bit the panther as hard as he could on its back leg. 

The big cat yowled loudly and did a fluid, graceful 180-degree turn and, with his claws sheathed, hit the wolf on the nose as hard as he could. The wolf let out a yelp and jumped back. The panther looked at the wolf good and hard, and whacked him beside the head just for good measure. Then, after a good-sized growl from the panther, which flattened the wolf to the floor, the graceful animal turned and sprinted out of the cave. The wolf trotted out after him, licking the blood that dripped from his muzzle, smiling his wolf's smile. 

* * *

Jim awoke with a small start. He gave himself the once over to see how he felt before he opened his eyes. Everything seemed to be in working order. He wasn't in any pain and his nose told him he was in a hospital. Jim focused his senses, hearing the familiar heartbeat next to him. He felt one of Blair's hands around his upper arm and the other around his wrist, and he could smell blood. He slowly opened his eyes. The room was dimly lit, which helped quite a bit. He centered in on Blair, scanning him quickly. His heart rate and respiration were slow and steady; he was looking down, and the blood from his nose was running unchecked down his shirt. Jim couldn't see his face with all his hair hanging in front of it. 

"Chief, are you all right?" he asked quietly. Blair didn't look up or move from his position. Jim removed Blair's hands from his arm, and swung his legs around the side of the gurney. He tested his equilibrium. He was okay, so he rose and stood beside his mate. He reached out, put his hands around Blair's upper arms, and turned his partner towards him, asking again a little louder. "Chief, please answer me. Are you okay?" Jim gave him a little shake. "Blair, are you all right?" With each word, he shook Blair harder. 

Jim put his hand under Blair's chin, and lifted his head so he could look directly into his eyes. He was surprised. He had never seen Blair zoned out before. Now he was starting to panic. "Chief, what have you done?" he whispered hoarsely and he tried once more. He put his hands on either side of Blair's face, much like he had done when he had brought their spirits together before, and said quietly, "Blair, you can wake up now." 

Finally, after what seemed to be an eternity to the anxious Sentinel, Blair's eyes began to focus. He blinked once, twice. He shook his head to clear it and looked into Jim's concerned blue eyes. 

"You're awake!" was Blair's ecstatic cry. "You're back!" Blair was so grateful to see the Sentinel awake that he threw his arms around Jim and hugged him tightly. 

Jim laughed and returned the hug before peeling the exuberant Guide from him and holding him at arm's length. "Good guess, Chief. I'm awake, thanks to you." Jim's smiling blue eyes thanked his mate. "Thanks to you." 

Blair grinned at Jim through the blood still dripping from his 'pawed' nose. "That's what I'm here for. To watch out for you." 

Jim was incredulously thinking about the scene in which he just had a part. "How did you know to come?" 

"Emma," was Blair's simple answer. The Sentinel nodded in understanding. 

"Come here, Blair, and let's try to get your nose to stop bleeding." Jim gathered a wad of tissues from the box on the counter behind the exam table and pressed them against Blair's nose, tipping back his head into Jim's large hand. "Geez, Chief, I'm sorry I hit you, but you bit me!" Jim could actually feel the tender spot on his upper right thigh. 

Blair just grinned from under the tissues. "My nose isn't bad. Really. Remember when I got beat up in the Academy? That was a lot worse than this. Besides, what's a bloody nose between partners? I'm fine. I'm just glad you're back. And I'm sorry about biting you, but I couldn't get your attention. I tried everything. A wolf has only so many options, you know. What happened to you? I have never seen you so far gone before. I was really getting scared, man, I thought I would never get you back." 

Blair was excited and the words tumbled out. "And wasn't that the coolest thing you've ever seen? That was so cool. I can't believe I did it!" 

Jim put his hands on Blair's shoulders and pulled him close. "Chief, please, let's get out of here. I'll answer all your questions later, once we get out of here and get home. And you can answer mine. Right now, I just want to go and get cleaned up, and get something to eat. My head is starting to hurt." 

In the blink of an eye, Blair immediately morphed into the ever-concerned Guide. He moved quickly, locating Jim's clothes. "You're right, man, let's get out of here. Here's your shoes and coat. I'm so ready to blow this place. Man, I hate hospitals. I'm surprised you don't have more than a headache. I had better get you home, and make sure you've enough vitamins and stuff to ward off any diseases you might have caught on this little trip to the germ factory." 

Jim smiled at Blair's concern about his well being. It was nice having someone that cared enough about you to immediately forget their own woes and concentrate on you. Jim smiled to himself again while he put on his shoes. It was nice to have someone who loved him as much as Blair. 

"Jim, are you well enough to walk?" Blair inquired concernedly. "I can get a wheelchair or something." 

"No, Chief, I'm fine. Actually, all things considered, I feel okay. Really I do. Let's just go." 

As the guys swung the room door open and walked out into the corridor, they almost bowled over the doctor who was hurrying back to the exam room. The doctor's mouth dropped open when he saw Jim Ellison walk out of the room, and he started to approach the now-recovered Sentinel. Blair stepped between the doctor and his partner. His voice was pleasant but his body was a definite barrier to his mate. "Detective Ellison is just fine now. He's hungry and tired, so we're just going to leave. Please." 

The surprised physician nodded stupidly but managed to insist that they sign forms to release the hospital from any liability. He didn't know what happened, but he certainly didn't want the Chief of Staff to rake him over the coals in case of a lawsuit. The partners agreed to sign the forms, just so they could get out of the hospital without arousing any kind of attention. Captain Banks would not be happy if there was any kind of a commotion that would start the press talking again about Detective Ellison and that ex-grad student-turned-cop, Blair Sandburg. 

Simon and Emma stood in the hall a short distance away. Blair's eyes met Emma's and he gave her a happy grin. His look was filled with gratitude, and Emma directed an 'I Told You So' smile at Blair. Thanks to Emma, he now knew that only he and Jim had the ability to connect their animal spirits together. And he now had the wonderful insight about the bond between Sentinel and Guide. Not only did he know that their bond would remain strong as long as they were both alive, but after seeing the spirit guides of Emma and Olivia traveling together, he knew that even after death their spirits would have a connection to each other that could never be broken. While Blair knew how painful either of their deaths would be to the other, he felt a great peace settle over his soul at the thought of an unbroken bond between Sentinel and Guide for eternity. 

Simon took in Sandburg's disheveled appearance and wondered what the hell had happened. His hair was a mess and there was blood on him. 

Emma smiled up at the Captain. "He is one formidable man." 

"Who?" Simon asked, "Jim?" 

"No, Captain, Blair. Jim being a formidable man is a 'given'. But there will be hell to pay for anyone who comes between that Guide and his Sentinel. I sure would not want to be the bad guys in this town. And you know Blair would die to protect Jim. He can't help it. Blair has to protect him. Just like he has to breathe to stay alive. I know." She sighed. "Believe me, I know. Jim protects the tribe and Blair protects Jim. That's the way it works," Emma ended matter-of-factly. 

Paperwork signed, Blair and Jim walked towards Simon and Emma. Simon reached out and took Blair's chin between his thumb and finger and turned his head from side to side. "What happened to you, Sandburg?" 

"Jim hit me." His tone of voice started his Captain laughing. Blair said, 'Jim hit me' as if he had just said, 'I won the lottery'. 

"Detective, I'm glad that having your partner hit you has made you so happy." Simon tried to hide the smile that still managed to spread across his face. 

Jim noticed several of the personnel talking and pointing towards their small band. "Let's get out of here," Jim said, "before that doctor finds a reason to have us all arrested for disturbing his hospital." 

* * *

Blair and Emma, their heads together, talking earnestly, stood off to the side of Jim and Simon. 

Simon looked at his senior detective. "Damn, Jim, you know I don't think I'll ever fully understand this Sentinel thing, but I'm happy things worked out for the best. You sure you're okay?" 

"I'm fine, Simon. I appreciate your calling Blair immediately. I know you don't want any fallout from the Commissioner or the press, so I am glad things worked out, too." 

"Jim, I don't give a rat's ass about the press. I'm your friend and Sandburg's, too. I don't want to see anything bad happen to either of you. You're both important to me, you know. Even if I don't always understand about this Sentinel stuff, I'm willing to work with it. I've got to run back to the office, but I can drop you two off at home if you like. You both look like you could use a good night's sleep. I'll have a couple of my men bring your vehicles by the loft." 

"Right, Simon. Thanks, that'd be good." 

"I'll get the car while Blair says his good-byes to your friend." 

Jim nodded to Simon and turned to watch his Guide talking earnestly with Emma. Their soft voices reached his ears. He hadn't meant to eavesdrop, but... 

"...a gentle soul, you realize that. I really wish the best to both of you. I'm so happy I have met you and Jim, Blair. I won't forget you. I hope I was able to help in some small way." 

Jim pulled back, not wishing to intrude. Blair's eyes met his, calling Jim to his side with a soft smile. Jim crossed the space between them and stood behind Blair with his hands on his shoulders. Blair leaned into Jim's touch and said, "Emma, today helped me in ways you may not even realize. I had no idea about our spirits and how strong our connection is. It was wonderful. Thank you for that." 

Emma nodded and suddenly her eyes filled with tears. 

Blair touched her hand. "What?" 

Emma's voice was quiet and when Blair gave her an encouraging smile, she said, "I'm really scared. I don't have anyone else who would understand. It's another Sentinel, Blair. I've already found him. He's just a young man, only 21. He's been locked in a mental ward for four years. I'm not sure I can do this, but he needs me, at least for a while until he can find his Guide. It's so hard! I miss her so much." 

Blair put a hand on her shoulder. "You'll be all right. You're strong. Much stronger than I could ever be. Promise me you'll take care of yourself. You can write or call whenever you need someone to talk to." 

Emma nodded, wiping her eyes quickly. "Thank you Blair." Emma's eyes met Jim's and he smiled at her. "Both of you, thank you." 

"You, too, Emma, thanks for everything," Jim said. 

"Any time, Jim." Emma reached out her hand and he gave it a quick squeeze. "You two take care of each other," she ordered seriously. 

Blair answered, "We will." Jim nodded, "Always." 

They watched until Emma had disappeared, then Jim spun his lover around and gave him a good once over. Blair was starting to look a little wiped out around the edges. He still had blood all over him, and there was a good-size bruise starting to appear above his cheek where 'Jim' had whacked him. 

"Come on, Chief, let's get you home. You put in a pretty rough day." 

"Hey, man, you put in a pretty rough day yourself. And you still have to tell me exactly what caused such a major zone out so I can be ready for the next time. Man, I need a shower. Care to join me?" 

Jim smiled and slung an arm across Blair's shoulders. "Come on, that's an invitation I can't refuse. And then I'm putting some ice on that bruise." Jim's finger gently touched the darkening spot on Blair's face. 

As they walked towards Simon's waiting car, only the Sentinel noticed the golden eagle flying in lazy spirals on a thermal updraft above the city of Cascade. 

* * *

After their eventful day, the lovers finally made it home. They had a relaxing shower and were finally able to sit down over sandwiches that Blair had made, and talk about what had happened to Jim. 

"The whole thing was definitely my fault," Jim mused. "If I hadn't been daydreaming while watching that eagle fly above the park a couple of blocks away from the courthouse, none of this would have happened. Then I had the bad luck to sit in the chair nearest the floor vent. It didn't help that it was so hot in that courtroom, and the case was so boring that I was almost zoned as it was. By the time I realized what happened, I had already had a lungful of the chemical. I felt myself going under, but I couldn't do a thing to stop it." 

Jim sat back and had a long swig of his cold soda. "Chances are I won't black out and zone out at exactly the same time again with the same allergic reaction. It was a good thing that the chemical those workmen spilled was not lethal. Besides, it's really embarrassing to find out that you're the only person who had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance." 

Blair smiled at his Sentinel. "Well, the chances of the exact set of circumstances happening again would be pretty unlikely, but I should have been with you. I'm just happy that you're okay." 

"Chief, don't go blaming yourself. We can't live joined at the hip." 

"Any why not? I like being joined to you." Blair grinned. 

Jim rolled his eyes. "You know that's not what I meant, you sex fiend." 

"Who, me? Jim, what a cruel thing to say. Cruel, but true," he chuckled. "I'll admit, I can never get enough of you." 

Jim laughed loudly, watching as Blair ate the last few potato chips and started clearing the table. He followed with the remains of the sandwiches and asked, "How did you know what to do, Blair?" 

Blair shrugged. "Geez, Jim, I didn't have a clue." He laughed. "At first, I wasn't sure how to do it, but Emma told me I could, and I believed her. So I just did it." 

Jim smiled at his partner. "You sure did. It was dumb luck that your mother met Emma and brought her to our place." 

Blair shook his head, smiling. "No way, man, it was destiny, pure and simple. It would have been nice to get to know her better, though," he reflected. "I'll bet there were other things that I could learn from her about being a Guide." 

"Well, Chief, for what it's worth, I think you're a great Guide." 

Blair beamed under his Sentinel's praise. "Thanks, Jim. It's worth a lot to me." 

Jim stood behind Blair and slipped an arm around his waist, nuzzling his heck. "So, Blair, what will it be? TV or me?" 

Blair rubbed Jim's arm and laughed low and soft. "Man, that's not even a contest. You know me, Jim. I'll pick TV every time." 

Blair spun around and looked into the surprised face of his lover. He reached up and closed Jim's open mouth with a finger and kissed his lips quickly. Jim grinned and grabbed for Blair but he slipped past Jim's hands and dashed up the stairs, calling, "I'm on top tonight!" 

Jim laughed and followed, shouting, "No way, buddy boy, it's my turn!" 

Blair laughed loudly. "I called it first. I win." 

The sounds of laughter filled the loft and were soon followed by the sounds of earnest lovemaking being shared by the two soulmates. 

* * *

Jim Ellison arrived home after a hard but satisfying workout at the gym to find his lover, Blair Sandburg, putting the finishing touches on dinner. 

Jim's eyes lit up when he saw Blair puttering in the kitchen. "Hey, Chief," he called, tossing his keys on the small table. 

"Hi, Jim. You're just in time. Dinner in fifteen," Blair answered. 

Jim crossed to stand next to his mate and leaned in for a kiss. "Mmmm. Smells good. I'll take a quick shower and then we'll eat." 

"Good, man, hurry. I'm starving." Blair grinned and after another quick kiss, Jim headed for the bathroom. 

They sat down fifteen minutes later to a tantalizing meal of baked chicken with wild rice, tossed salad and hot rolls. 

After eating quietly for several minutes, Blair said, "I saw my mother today." 

"Yeah, Blair, I did too." Jim buttered another roll. 

"Really? She didn't mention that. What did you guys talk about?" 

Jim smiled and licked a finger. "You." 

"That's funny, Jim, because Naomi and I talked about you." 

"Really?" Jim echoed. "Do you want to tell me?" 

Blair nodded. "Sure. It was okay, actually. I just told her that I was a grown man and that I could make my own decisions and that I was in love with you and that we were lovers." 

Jim leaned back and wiped his mouth on a napkin. "Sounds reasonable." 

"Jim!" 

"What?" 

"Is that all you have to say? Come on, man, I told my mother I'm in love with a guy. You must have something else to say." Blair looked at his lover and then he noticed that Jim was trying to hide his smile. Blair reached over and smacked his arm. "You dick! You told her, didn't you?" 

Jim's grin spread across his face and his eyes sparkled. "Yeah, I did. I told her that I was in love with you and that we were lovers and that you could make your own decisions because you are a grown man." 

Blair laughed. "And she said...?" 

"She said and I quote, 'Of course he can make his own decisions. What kind of an overbearing mother do you think I am?' And then she said she thought I would be good for you and that you seemed very happy. So spill it, Chief. What did she say to you when you told her?" 

Blair shook his head. "You are a trip, Jim. Why didn't you tell me you were going to talk to Naomi?" 

"Actually, it wasn't planned. She called me and asked to meet with me. She said it was about time we cleared the air between us. It went very well. Hell, Chief, she's your mother. I want to be on good terms with her. I think everything will be okay. But you didn't answer my question. What did she say to you?" 

Blair smiled and took Jim's hand in his. "She said she was happy for me and that I looked happy and content. I told her that I was. I told her that you were great and things were going really well for both of us." 

Jim squeezed his lover's hand. "I'm happy too, Blair. I'm glad she's okay with this. It makes it easier for you." 

Blair slipped into Jim's lap and circled his arms around his neck. "I'm so fucking happy I could cry." He said, kissing Jim's forehead. 

"Damn, but you're a sentimental guy sometimes, Chief." 

Blair laughed and shrugged. "Takes one to know one." 

"Hardly, Blair. I'm not the sentimental type." 

Blair shook his head. "You just like to put on the front. You know, Jim, Emma was right about you. You do have a gentle soul." 

Jim laughed quietly, remembering that he had overheard Emma use the phrase when she and Blair had been talking in front of the hospital. Jim had thought she was talking about Blair. "Gentle soul? Blair, I've been a soldier and now I'm a cop. There's nothing gentle about that." 

Blair looked at his lover seriously. "No, Jim, inside," he said, placing his hand over Jim's heart, "not outside. You want everybody to think you're this tough, macho hard-ass, but inside you're not like that. Emma saw it and I see it." 

"Okay, Chief, okay. You don't have to try and convince me." Jim smiled. "I guess it's not too bad, when you think about it. As long as you don't go and tell anybody." 

Blair laughed. "Of course not, Mr. Macho Man. I would never dream of tarnishing your reputation around the bullpen." 

Jim smiled and his arms around Blair's waist pulled him close. "Have I told you today that I love you?" Jim said softly. 

Blair put a hand on the side of Jim's face. "Yes, but tell me again." Blair's lips met Jim's and they kissed amorously. When Blair pulled back, he whispered, "I have a surprise for you." 

"Oh, good, a surprise." Jim said in a not very thrilled voice. 

"Come on, Jim, it's a good surprise. In fact, it's a great surprise. You'd never guess in a million years what I have." 

"Good God, it's going to be Twenty Questions. I can see it now." 

Blair nodded happily. "Question One." 

Jim groaned, but a kiss put a stop to that. 

"Question One," Blair repeated. "What do you want more than anything else in the world?" 

"Ah, let's see. Me fucking your ass?" 

Blair laughed loudly before whining, "Come on, Jim, play the game right." 

"Okay, Blair. What do I want more than anything else in the world? Hell, I have no idea. I have everything I want right here." 

Blair laughed lightly. "Want a hint?" 

Jim sighed. "Yes." 

"Okay. It involves a floor." 

"A floor?" 

"Yeah. And balls." 

"A floor and balls." 

"Uhuh. Let's see. And a score." 

"Blair, a floor, and balls, and a score. It's me scoring with you on the living room floor." 

Blair rolled his eyes. "God, Jim, you're terrible at games and you have sex on the brain." 

Jim mumbled, "No, on the floor is more fun." 

Blair laughed and reached into his shirt pocket. He extracted two pieces of paper and held them up in front of Jim's eyes. 

"No!" Jim exclaimed. 

"Yes!" Blair replied, nodding enthusiastically. 

"How?" 

"Naomi." 

"Why?" 

"Wedding present, man." 

"Can I touch them?" 

Blair laughed. "Of course, silly boy. They're ours." 

Jim reached out and gingerly took the two floor seat tickets to the Jags playoff game from Blair's fingers. 

Blair chuckled at Jim's tentative touch. "They're not going to disappear, Jim. They're real and they're ours." 

"These are impossible to get without taking out a mortgage. How did she get them?" 

"You know that masseuse, Lars, who tipped Naomi off about the Nobel Prize when my dissertation was exposed?" 

"Yeah." 

"He's got connections. One of his good pals is the sports medicine masseuse for the Jags team and Naomi called in a few favors. It's her way of apologizing, Jim. She wanted to make it up to us somehow. Everything is okay now." 

"You were worried, weren't you, Blair? You were afraid she'd make you chose." 

Blair looked down, hiding behind the hair that fell across his face. "Yes," he whispered. "I would have missed her a lot." 

Jim put a finger under Blair's chin and raised his head until their eyes met. "You mean..." 

"I love you, Jim. I would miss Naomi more than I could ever say, but I love you with all my heart. I would have chosen you." 

Jim felt his eyes fill and his nose prickle. "I love you, too, Blair, Very much. Thank you." 

Blair snuggled against Jim's chest and said, "For what?" 

"Everything, Blair, just... everything." 

Blair chuckled low and deep. "Oh, man, here you go again with the long, flowing phrases." 

Jim petted Blair's hair. "How about I show you with actions rather than words, Chief? I'm much better with that." 

Blair sighed contentedly, wrapped in Jim's arms. "I'm counting on it, Jim, believe me, I'm definitely counting on it." 

* * *

End Stillness of Heart by LilyK: chakbalam@netscape.net

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Disclaimer: _The Sentinel_ is owned etc. by Pet Fly, Inc. These pages and the stories on them are not meant to infringe on, nor are they endorsed by, Pet Fly, Inc. and Paramount. 


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